Рассказ на английском языке в стиле Фантастика-Фентези 5К слов.

Рассказ на английском языке в стиле Фантастика-Фентези 5К слов. Есть определённые пожелания в написании:

Stories must be:

• Well-written. Language is important. There is no distinction between "style" and "substance" or "story" and "writing."
• Convenient for on-screen reading. Very long paragraphs or typographical trickery may work against you.
• Suitable for audio. Stories should be equally effective, but not necessarily the same, in text and audio formats.

Science fiction need not be "hard" SF, but rigor is appreciated. Fantasy can be folkloric, contemporary, surreal, etc.Though no particular setting, theme, or plot is anathema to us, the following are likely hard sells:

• zombies or zombie-wannabes (seriously, I'm not kidding)
• sexy vampires, wanton werewolves, wicked witches, or demonic children
• stories about rapists, murderers, child abusers, or cannibals
• stories where the climax is dependent on the spilling of intestines
• stories in which a milquetoast civilian government is depicted as the sole obstacle to either catching some depraved criminal or to an uncomplicated military victory
• stories where the Republicans, or Democrats, or Libertarians, or the Spartacist League, etc. take over the world and either save or ruin it
• stories in which the words "thou" or "thine" appear
• talking cats or swords
• stories where FTL travel or time travel is as easy as is it on television shows or movies
• stories that depend on some vestigial belief in Judeo-Christian mythology in order to be frightening (i.e., Cain and Abel are vampires, the End Times are a' comin', Communion wine turns to Christ's literal blood and it's HIV positive, Satan's gonna getcha, etc.)
• stories about young kids playing in some field and discovering ANYTHING. (a body, an alien craft, Excalibur, ANYTHING).
• stories about the stuff we all read in Scientific American three months ago
• stories about your RPG character's adventures
• "funny" stories that depend on, or even include, puns
• stories where the protagonist is either widely despised or widely admired simply because he or she is just so smart and/or strange
• stories that take place within an artsy-fartsy bohemia as written by an author who has clearly never experienced one
• stories originally intended for someone's upcoming theme anthology or issue (everyone is sending those out, wait a while)
• your trunk stories
• stories that try to include all of the above